juice cleanse 101. YOU CAN DO THIS.

it’s pretty clear that i love to do a good juice cleanse.  A LOT of people ask me why i do it. they think i’m crazy. in a nutshell, i do it when i need a good kick in the rear to get back into healthy habits. when my skinny jeans are, you know, feeling a little too skinny. post holidays. feeling gross. stuff like that. and i continue to do them for these reasons:

  • I SLEEP LIKE A BABY. i have serious SERIOUS sleeping issues. juicing like, makes them go away. whether it be science or magic, i’ll take it.
  • BLOAT? WHAT BLOAT? it gets rid of bloating. i feel so…. fabulously un-bloated.
  • HYDRATES. my skin feels awesome and supple and young and vibrant.
  • ALCOHOL/COFFEE DETOX. sometimes i just need to not drink alcohol. or coffee. and i feel awesome when i’m not drinking either of them.
  • JUMP START. i juice when i need to start eating good again. and when i’m done juicing, all i want to do is put awesome, healthy, delicious things in my body. i like making my body feel awesome.
  • AWARENESS. after the cleanse, i’m more aware of how my body reacts to the things i put in it. does kale make me feel good? yes. does a cheeseburger make me feel good? no.
  • SUPERSTARDOM. yes, i feel like a superstar. better than you. haha totally joking. but not really.

now that i’m thinking of myself as a master juice cleanser, here are some tips and suggestions via my wisdom to help you take the leap. so let’s learn from my mistakes, shall we?

  • PREPARE YOUR FRIDGE. did you order juices? are you getting like 18 bottles? make room in your fridge! are they frozen? do you even know what’s in your freezer?
  • BUDDY SYSTEM. if it’s your first time, grab a partner. do it together. it’s supportive and you can high-five at the end.
  • DRINK THEM COLD. cold as ice. they taste wayyy better. especially that green one. remember when i did my first Raw Generation cleanse review and i drank the green juice at room temperature? yah don’t do that. you’ll think you’ve made a huge mistake. throw a few ice cubes in there if you need to.
  • WATER IT DOWN. if you don’t like the taste of a juice, water it down. no bigs. but still drink it. all of it.
  • SHAKE THEM. they settle. if you don’t shake it while you’re drinking, that last sip will be very gritty and interesting. it may not bother you, but it bothers me.
  • START DRINKING THE FIRST JUICE AS SOON AS YOU GET UP.  you just slept (hopefully) 8 hours. you had juice for dinner. you’re starving. don’t wait until you get to the office to have “breakfast”. you’ll pass out on your way there.
  • DRINK WATER. believe it or not, you need to drink water along with all of these other delicious beverages. it hydrates and helps the cleansing process. just do it. yes, you’ll pee a lot. A LOT.
  • DON’T PLAN ON HEAVY EXERCISE. seriously. kind of a no-brainer. if you’re an active person, do some very light yoga or stretching. maybe a little toning. no 5 mile runs here people.
  • DRINK CAFFEINE IF YOU NEED IT. a lot of juice cleanses restrict you from coffee. yes, you really shouldn’t have anything other than juice and water. however if you’re a Starbucks frequent, you’re going to have a very rough couple of days if you cut cold turkey. i highly suggest weaning yourself off slowly pre-cleanse, or treat yourself to some plain old black tea. who knows, maybe you’ll kick your triple mocha latte habit?
  • IF YOU’RE REALLY HUNGRY AND THINK YOU’RE GONNA DIE, DON’T DIE. just… eat. your intentions are good. you’re doing a cleanse. but like, you think you’re gonna die. so eat. some cucumber. avocado. banana. no cheeseburgerzzz.
  • DON’T FREAK OUT IF YA PEE/POO GETS WEIRD. yes. just what i said. it will get weird. especially if you’re drinking beet juice, so be prepared for that. it’s loaded with that natural red dye, if you know what i’m sayin. you’ll survive.
  • BUT WAIT I JUST GOOGLED PEEPOO. this is genius!
  • EAT CLEAN PRE/POST CLEANSE. that would be a few days before and after. we’re talking easy to digest and watery foods. no meat, dairy, processed junk. make a yummy chopped cucumber and avocado salad. nosh on fresh mango, pineapple, and watermelon. enjoy some cashews, sparingly. make a dairy free smoothie. your intestines will thank you and you will thank your intestines, trust me. need a recipe? make this kale salad and this edamame dip.
  • GREEN MEANS GO. if you’re doing this for weight-loss, the greener the juice, the less calories it has in it. if you’re drinking mostly fruit juices, you may not get the results you had hoped. therefore, green means go for getting back into those skinny jeans.

so there you have it. are you interested now or did i completely scare you away? hello?

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About gibblemethis

I recently (and finally) discovered cooking, baking, and DIY-ing. Yes, I discovered them all and you're welcome. I live in Boston and work at an A&E firm as a mechanical designer for healthcare.
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3 Responses to juice cleanse 101. YOU CAN DO THIS.

  1. Pingback: (another) Raw Generation review | gibble me this

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